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Writer's pictureThe Lost

Why Are the Bios Funny?

This is a question I get a lot. And by "a lot" I mean never, and the reason I never get asked this proves my answer to this question is right. That reason is because no one reads the bios. And the reason no one reads them is because bios are boring, which of course is the answer to that question I never get asked. "So-and-so is from... zzzzzzzzzz" See? Couldn't even finish that sentence before it bored me to sleep. So on the off chance that anyone gets past the first sentence of any of the bios, I figured I'd reward them with a story that would be entertaining even if it wasn't true.


If anyone reads these blogs, they may then check out the bios, in which case this blog has served its purpose, but I doubt anyone reads the blogs either. The word itself is awful. Think about it. If you had no idea what a blog was and someone said the word to you for the first time, you would think they should see a doctor. Besides the word being an onomatopoeia for vomiting, most blogs themselves are full of the musings of pretentious wordsmiths that use words like onomatopoeia to show you how sophisticated and eloquent they are, and how much better they are than you with their introspective and philosophical musings. Of course I would never do that, because I am so much better than they are.


Go read the bios. They're funny.

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